Now that I’m married, I have a complete understanding and agree with 95 % of what this brother has said. I need to make one correction (at least from my point of view). Dating is the process by which two people make a commitment to one another. You don’t go from 0 to 100 miles/hr in anything. Same thing goes for relationships. It takes time; and two people should grow in there commitment to one another one step at a time. The problem with most folks is that they commit to things in the wrong order. They take the cart before the horse. So, there is definitely an order in the universe, so should it be in your life. Here we go. Single folks, let me give you my Garyisms on dating…
1. Does the person have POTENTIAL? I disagree that your mate must have a job, good credit, car, etc. You need not to be presumptuous and assume the person is good for nothing just because they don’t have these things. The question should be why don’t they have those things? How did they get to that point? Where are they going with their lives? Now your getting to the nitty gritty. No good answer to destination means you will always be LOST!
2. Does this person fill in my puzzle where I’m missing pieces? Love and commitment is about making a relationship complete and whole. If you mate does not fill a void in your life, why are they there? So, ladies (in particular) don’t fill up your life (trying to be strong and independent) that you don’t leave room for someone to be there for you. My wife completes me (not because I can’t do without her). But, I do need someone to be there for me when I fall and vice versa.
3. Is the person truly trustworthy? Dating can’t survive lies. Even marriages have a hard time surviving a lack of trust. So, for dating, lying is the only nail needed for a coffin.
4. Willingness to Grow. Big one folks. Remember back in the day when people would say, “Don’t try to change me”. That is a load of CRAP. The point is to change with each other! Again, why be with someone that doesn’t make you better? That would be just dumb.
Although there are probably some other steps you should take first, these four are my basics. After you feel comfortable with these four, then you can worry about his or her gas stankin’!!! It is important to keep the top of the toothpaste clean and with the top on!
I’m just getting warmed up on this, but I will stop now and get off my soap box.